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Post by Hawkeye on May 26, 2006 18:45:19 GMT -5
.ooc. I'm pretending that she was already accepted as Ravenholm said it was alright.
.ic.
Dirt-Brown forepaws padded in front of Hawkeye’s black hind paws. Walking in a straight line at a normal pace, looking down not watching where she was going. The ground will tell her where she was going. But she knew where she was in a certain sense, she was on her new packland, Youkol. A pack of dogs and she loved it here so far. More dogs could be used, but she was fine with a small pack for now. Nothing was wrong with that. Nope.
Golden orange eyes lit up with a sudden look of happiness. She had noticed about a day ago that there weren’t any humans here. Dogs and hybrids seemed to have lived in harmony here and avoid the vicious wolves as much as possible. Hawkeye hated wolves with a burning passion. Just the thought of them sent shivers up her spine. She was glad that she was with other dogs that felt the same way as she did. Or, at least some dogs or hybrids that did.
How long had it been since she had been accepted? She had asked herself this question several times this day yet couldn’t remember the answer. The sun hadn’t seemed to have set since then, but she knew it was much more than a day ago. She remembered clearly being recruited, but all the other is a blur to her eyes, which were now looking back down with her depression sadness in them that she tried to hide from everybody.
Her depression and sadness had come from when she was a pup. Supposed to be in the den sleeping, she couldn’t fall asleep. Venturing out of the den to tell her mother, she heard them whispering to each other in angst a distance from the den. Not making a sound, young Hawkeye had made it just far enough to them to hear what they were saying…
“What’s wrong with you?!” Her father had said angrily.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Her mother had snarled in protest. “You wanted pups, we had three! Why aren’t you happy? I love you and I only wanted the best for you!”
“You have no idea what is best for me, Cloudstar! I mated with you for pleasure, and I was going to leave you if and when you had the whelps but I can’t forget that look in your eyes when you saw them lift their lids for the first time.”
“So, you never did love me, huh? Is that right, Scareye?”
“Shut up!” Scareye swatted Cloudstar with his paw. Hawkeye’s mother fell to the ground with her eyes closed and eyebrows furrowed from the pain. But she wasn’t dead, no. Cloudstar was a fighter.
Cloudstar’s eyes opened. “You son of a bitch!” She lifted her had and wrapped her jaws around Scareye’s foreleg so hard she felt a sickening crack but the last thing she would do was let go after she had him in her mouth.
Scareye pulled his broken foreleg up, causing Cloudstar to bare her neck while still on the ground. He then lowered his head and whispered into her ear, “This is the end, Cloudstar.” Then he tore her throat. It was all over by then.
Frightened, Hawkeye ran back to the den and pretended she was asleep in case her father came. He did.
Presently, Hawkeye didn’t want to think about what happened next. Not now. She continued through the path in the woods, still thinking about it a tear rolled down her cheek. But she had the perfect excuse for it should somebody see. She would do anything to keep her past, and trauma classified to herself and herself only.
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Post by RavenHolm on May 26, 2006 19:20:32 GMT -5
Ooc:// I’m gonna’ jump in here for a bit if you don’t mind, Hawk.
Silently, RavenHolm lie upon a grassy mound, his eyes closed as he slept. His sleep was far from peaceful, as any creature could easily tell. Lips pulled back to reveal his numerous dagger-like teeth, the Alpha dog let out a slightly audible growl. Currently, he was lying on his side, muscled tensed as he seemed to ward off nightmarish creatures that plagued him in his sleep. In his nightmare, RavenHolm found himself facing as hulking creature that seemed to be rabid. This thing seemed no more than a shadowy mist. It snapped at him, obviously trying to kill him. The Alpha Dog found himself having to fight the shadowed figure…
With a start he woke, his eyes snapping open. The sound of movement made by another had awoken him. In a jerky motion, RavenHolm shook his head, trying to rid himself of his thoughts which had wandered back to his dreams. Lazily, he gazed about to find another canine not far off.
With a yawn he stood, stretching his legs. Then he studied the she-dog before him. RavenHolm knew her as one of the recruits. But when he had recruited her, he didn’t now. Many things seemed to be slipping his mind lately. Most likely it was the nightmares that he found himself having. Often, he found himself waking up from them and unable to drift back into sleep. What was happening? He didn’t know. Frowning, he approached the other canine. What had she said her name was? “Hawkeye, is it?” Raven asked the she-dog. Then, the Alpha noticed the tear that ran down her face.
“Eh, are you alright?”
The dog mix hoped he wasn’t prying, which it seemed like he often did when he met new recruits. Hopefully, this Hawkeye, if this was entirely her name, didn’t mind. The last thing that RavenHolm wanted to do was offend or upset his new recruits. Not only that, but it might seem a bit awkward. Personally, Raven wanted the new members to feel welcome in the Youkol Dog Pack.
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Post by Hawkeye on May 26, 2006 21:43:27 GMT -5
Ears perked as Hawkeye blinked the tears away. She turned to see a male…Ravenholm. Now she remembered that she had seen him. He had recruited her just a few days ago. “Hawkeye, is it?” he had said to her. Her eyes closed. She had been so careless. Now that she thought about it, his scent was nearby. He was probably sleeping as the smell didn’t seem to give out any information that he was making a whole lot of motion.
“Yeah,” she smiled at him, eyes still closed. This was just one of her friendly smiles that she used a lot; one of the many ways to keep her depression a secret from everybody. And yes, that included the alpha of her new home.
“Eh, Are you alright?” He had noticed her tear. Her eyes opened at that remark and her smile faded slowly. Now was her chance to release her excuse for the hurt she felt inside that had made the tear flow from her golden eyes.
“Tears of joy, Sir,” She answered, giving nothing from body language to tell him that she was lying. Sir is what she called all males that she met. She had learned it from her abusive father. He demanded her to call him “sir” and the name stuck for all the guys she met. She felt the need to explain, as this was the alpha and he may ask for more out of her. Tears of joy…at what?
“For me finally finding a place to stay. That is, a place to stay away from wolves.” She thought the need to go no further, as he might like wolves as opposed to Hawkeye herself who’s burning hatred for them will never change. Not now, not ever.
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Post by RavenHolm on Jun 5, 2006 19:51:41 GMT -5
RavenHolm returned Hawkeye’s smile with one of his own. Something about this she-dog seemed off to RavenHolm, but he could place it. Oh well,” he thought to himself. “It is probably nothing.”[/i] Tears of joy? Well, he seemed to be making his members happy, which suited him just fine. “Please, Hawkeye, call be by my real name, RavenHolm.” One thing that seemed to greatly bother the Alpha was being called by something besides his real name. No creature really needed a title, just their name.
A dark colored tail swayed lightly as RavenHolm stood before her. When the rest of her explanation was stated, RavenHolm found himself saying, “I think that you should know, though, that Youkol is allied with the Aryian Pack. We will aid them in the upcoming war, and they the same for us if the fighting spreads to our lands. I hope this doesn’t change your mind about staying with us in Youkol.”Raven truly did hope that she would stay; he didn’t want to lose any members when they had just began gaining them.
Ooc://Short D=
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Post by Hawkeye on Jun 8, 2006 18:07:11 GMT -5
.ooc. 'Tis fine if it's short, mine's long so sorry about that. >< Had a lot to say, lol.
.ic.
Breaking a habit was probably one of the hardest things to do mentally. Physically was a whole different story—and Hawkeye had been there before. But breaking her habit of saying “sir” in replacement to all the other male titles including their real name was a challenge, especially with Scareye being your father. Seeing Ravenholm return her smile, she lowered her head with her eyes closed with a soft laugh. But only for a second, then it came back up normally as her ears pasted back behind her skull.
“Right, Ravenholm. I’ll call you by your name, then. It’s a habit I’ve yet to break.” His next words caught on as a surprise to her and her smile faded and her eyes widened. Allied with wolves? That can’t be good…what was this alpha thinking?! “Well, I guess nothing can be perfect, right?” As she said so, her eyes closed and a small grin appeared, showing that she didn’t mind. But it was a lie…all she ever did and say were all lies and she hated it. Especially lying to the alpha to her home, which if he found out about her lies—who knows what will happen!
But aid them in the upcoming war? There will be a war soon? That can’t be good…no, they can’t fight, they don’t know how fragile lives are. She frowned again and kept her eyes closed and her ears back, her head hung down again. “War won’t solve anything, you lose lives, land, members, links to relationships, and dogs and wolves that may help in some way in this world could die. Then what? What will happen then? Nobody can’t answer that, but one simple part of that solution is to just not fight, it’s wrong and all it does is bring pain to the present and future.”
Her eyes opened suddenly, realizing her short monologue about practically nothing that seemed to interest the dog. “Forget what I just said, I’m just one voice. I haven’t the slightest right to criticize your decisions.” She looked at him with a saddened face. “I’m sorry.”
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Post by RavenHolm on Jun 12, 2006 0:58:35 GMT -5
"Nothing ever has been perfect," he said in reply. This seemed to be quite true. No creature was perfect, no matter how much they seemed like it. A frown came to his face as he thought of this. Nobody and nothing was perfect, meaning that pain, lies, and hatred would always have its grip on the land and the creatures inhabiting it. What was the point of life then? Did life even have a point? RavenHolm didn't know the answers to these questions, so he tried to push them out of his mind, although he was unsuccessful. Something -lack of sleep or stress, RavenHolm didn't know which- made the anger in him bubble.
The Alpha's voice rose as he went on to say, "If our allies pack is destroyed because we stood around and did nothing, we would be just as responsible as those who destroyed the pack. I don't know about you, but I am carrying around enough guilty for now!"It took Raven but a few seconds to realize that he had snapped. He took a few steps back and said, "I am sorry, Hawkeye, I didn't mean to yell at you." The frown was plastered to his maw as lowered his head, his once happy blue eyes, now seemingly dull in color, were directed to the grass under his paws. Anger for himself now filled his heart. What the hell was he doing?! Raven took a deep breath to compose himself. He needed sleep.
"If the war had spread here and we had no allies in the surrounding packs, then it is doubtable that our Youkol would survive. The Chicotah Pack will, without a doubt, kill off every pack gain land. I believe that with the help of other packs, we will survive. If not, it would be the same outcome if we stood alone to face the terrors the other packs hold." After she had spoken again, Raven said, "Do not be sorry. Remember: one voice may make a difference. Also, all have a right to criticize others, no matter rank and if anybody tells you different then they can speak to me."
RavenHolm finally diverted his eyes from the ground to her face. There was a look in the eyes of Hawkeye that made sadness rippling through RavenHolm. There was true pain behind the face of the she-dog. What caused it, the dog mix didn't know, although he was intent on finding out. The dog stared at her with his own tired, sad blue eyes, wondering if she would ever trust him, or if she would even stay in the pack because of the alliance.
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Post by Hawkeye on Jun 15, 2006 18:04:14 GMT -5
.ooc. Sorry that the post is crap. x.x
.ic.
Life had no point, as Hawkeye had discovered. Seeing her mother killed was just a piece of her heart taken away and never given back. Her father’s abusive behavior—another piece. Soon, all of the pieces of her heart will be taken away, and what will be left? Nothing, exactly. This proves the point: No matter how much things have deceived you, life will never be anything more. Everybody seems to try and make the world a better place, but none have ever succeeded. There is still war, there are still new generations, and everything is the same. Hawkeye now understood that, and now she knew why Ravenholm would fight in the war along with the allied wolf pack—that and what he had explained, of course. Hawkeye was paying attention to him through all of these thoughts.
She sighed, turning to him with new eyes. “I understand now, Ravenholm. And, if it ever comes to it, I’ll fight in the war as well. I have nothing to live for, and life has no point as I’ve concluded. My death will mean nothing to everybody, and life will go on normally. Nothing will change.” She now held up her head, but not as high as Ravenholm’s. She started walking to him, and stopped a foot away.
“I’m fine with the alliance, and never said I wasn’t.” She smiled softly, but kept her eyes steady on his. “I only dislike wolves because…I’ve never told anybody this before, and it’s hard. You can’t tell anybody…Promise?”
Yes, this was hard for her. She had never told anybody of her past and why she was so depressed and yet here she is, meeting somebody for a second time and about to spill it out. But she could still hide it from the other members—who she had yet to meet.
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Post by RavenHolm on Jun 15, 2006 19:03:09 GMT -5
Ooc:// Blah. Another shitty post from meh.
Sadness seemed to dim his eyes even more as her words were spoken. Nothing to live for? That seemed downright impossible to RavenHolm. All had something or someone to live for, he believed, whether they realized it or not. “All deaths mean something,” he found himself saying. “Few see this, but it is true. If we make it through the war, with atleast some of our pack still intact, they will mourn for every single member that lost their lives fighting for what they believed was right. Even if just one member survives, they will still hold the memories of us. Even those who kill with no mercy will remember their victims. Or, that is what I believe.”
“I swear upon my duties as Alpha to keep your secrets from any one who you do not wish to know.” This was true: RavenHolm rarely went back on his word. If it seemed to trouble her this much, it would be close to impossible to pry it from him. He looked up at her, wondering what it was. The only things that he really knew was that it most likely had something to do with wolves, and it was seemed to be causing her negative thoughts of having no worth. If anything, RavenHolm hoped he could change this, or atleast try to. It might not be possible, but that wouldn’t stop him. He had a duty to help his members and he would carry it out as best as he could. So, RavenHolm prepared himself for whatever she had to say.
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